Just Ask!

High up in the hills of rural St Andrew, deep in the bushes and around a few corners, I found myself a plantain man.

Photo Credit: Wackeme Barnaby

Plan-tai-n man (noun) : a man who farms and sells plantains. (Sometimes both, sometimes one or the other).

He sat on the side of the road, with tantalizing bunches of green plantains stacked high beside him.

Immediately my eyes lit up and in true, Jamaican fashion, I exclaimed excitedly ‘plantain!’

It had been quite a while since I had eaten some plantains, and I could just taste my slightly burnt plantains now-just the way I liked them!

We pulled up right across from the plantain man, and the driver of the vehicle went about some business.

Now the plantains were right in front of me tempting and green.

Knowing the price of plantains these days, there was no way I could afford them with any coins I could dig up in my purse or car.

Surely, the plantain man would take my debit card! 😂

I sat for a long while, contemplating just how I could take home some plantains.

Then the thought came: ‘how much money do you have?’

Me: Who me, I don’t have any money?

Me to me: Well, did you check?

Me back to me: You mean the coins, that can’t be enough, do you know the price of plantains?

Me again: Just check!

Ignoring the thoughts, I sat back in the seat, disappointed I couldn’t figure out away to have some plantains for my breakfast tomorrow. (They wouldn’t be ripe but at least I’d have them!)

Again the thought came: “Just check.”

More to shut my thoughts up than anything else, I started to look in my purse… Two fifty dollars came out.

“Well, look at God!”

I got excited and searching around the car, I found a hundred dollar bill.

Nice! Two hundred dollars, but God I want 3 plantains, $200 caan buy that!

But no more money was to be found… Disappointed, I decided to reduce my numbers.

God, I just want one plantain, just one…

I paused, realized just who I was talking to, and shook my head!

Why was I even doubting?! Why was I lowering my standards just because it looked impossible?

I tried again, Lord, I have $200 and I want three plantains.

I stepped out of the vehicle and approached my plantain man…

How much for the plantains?

Plantain man to me: break off the ones you want…

What you seh?

Is $100 for one, but if you have $200 , I’ll give you three of the ones you want.

I wasn’t even hesitating a second time! I walked away with three of the biggest miracle plantains and a smile on my face.

Days later, as I enjoyed my plantain breakfast… I thought about how many times in my life I had automatically assumed that something was not for me because it looked impossible.

I had missed opportunities because it had not been handed to me or because I wrongly assumed I didn’t have the correct or adequate resources.

I had not seen a big neon arrow pointing me in that direction, and I definitely hadn’t seen the door opened and someone calling my name in that direction.

Photo by Jens Johnsson on Pexels.com

How many times had I automatically assumed the answer would have been no when I had not even asked?

Just how many opportunities could have / would have been mine, if only I had asked?

The Bible says:

https://images.app.goo.gl/UejduFoUqR78y7ep6

And even if you don’t believe in the Bible , there’s definitely nothing to lose by going for what you want – which is exactly the point of the text above!

Here’s my point plan for asking for what I need :

Lose the Assumptions

If the answer is no, then the answer is no but don’t assume before you ask.

A very wise person once said to me- don’t say no for other people.

Bring what you have to the table.

Don’t make little of what you have, or what you are worth. You are valuable, you are good enough. Prepare that pitch, gather the funds that you already have- and if you don’t have funds, bring your skills!

Pray/Speak it to the atmosphere

I said it to God that I wanted 3 plantains for my $200. You may believe in speaking it in the atmosphere…whatever it is make your request known

For Goodness sake, Just Go Ask!

Yup! You eventually have to do it, just ask. Remain postive, but also don’t be discouraged if it turns into a rejection- let that be your fuel for the next time you ask!

As usual, can’t wait to see what opportunities God brings me next- this time I pray I’m bold enough to ask!

P.S. Yes, I am aware in some circles, $200 for 3 plaintains is quite expensive, just cool nuh

Beauty for Ashes

I woke up to a rejection letter.

For months, I had hoped, prayed and dreamed. I had hung my vision board on this one thing, that was as of that morning, no longer meant to be.

I was severely disappointed, yet another prayer had not been answered in quite the way I had hoped. For a long moment, I was stunned because I had no other plans, this was the only way I had foreseen acheiving this goal I had so greatly planned for my life.

This was my big year!

This could not be happening!

As I paused for a while, to get over my self, my rejection, my disappointment, my husband reminded me that I was resilient and that I would be OK.

What does he know- I thought, he had clearly not been watching my 26 years of pain.

Dealing with disappointment and rejection were definitely not my strong suit.

As I got ready for work and I thought about the situation, I remembered some of the disappointments that I had faced that seemed so huge in the moment.

I thought certainly I couldn’t pass, I wouldn’t, it just seemed impossible.

I thought back to a moment in my life, when the pain seemed greater than life …and then I looked in the mirror and realized that… I had indeed survived!

What had seemed so great a disappointment then, didn’t even matter anymore. Some of them had even worked out for better opportunities.

Some of them I still wait for the grand reveal, by faith.

But my disappointments had not killed me, I had passed them by.

Though I don’t fully understand why God said, no or perhaps wait… I’m already experiencing the beauty for the ashes.

YOU’VE GOT SUPPORT

I was reminded, that I have a strong support system, who love me and have my best interest at heart. It’s super easy at times to let your disappointments isolate you, and make you feel alone, when this really may not be the case. Reach out, you are not alone.

CELEBRATE SMALL STEPS

I was reminded that you can always celebrate your small steps. So the end result may not have been what I wanted but, I had gone for something I really wanted, I had reached a far way into the process, further than many others had…that was something to be proud of, that was something to be celebrated! Progress is Progress, even if it’s half a step. 😁

ALWAYS ROOM TO IMPROVE

I was reminded that there is always room for improvement, and I have identified some of those key steps and may even try again when the opportunity rolled around again.

Most of all, I learnt that I can deal with disappointments because they’ve never killed me before! 😂

God reminds us that

I claim beauty, strength, gladness and peace as I wait to see what God will do next!

Promises of Perfection- The introduction

I have always wanted to start a blog that chronicled my story with Jesus.

Even as I sit here- I am looking at my last draft which started with the lines

“I consider myself a perfectionist”

Today- I am absolutely sure- I am not perfect. This is absolutely refreshing and reassuring because I KNOW have a God who is.

Even as I struggle with my Christian journey, even as I recover from  the last few months- the season of “battering”. Even as I try to dry out my sails, and try to get them to fly again.  Even as I try to figure out the directions of my messy life- and I adjust and readjust to new seasons, I am reassured that God sails even in the heaviest  of winds.

This introduction has been a long time in writing. The last version was totally about me. But,  I now stand sure- that this story of promises and perfection was never about me, but is really about God’s work in me.

I look forward to the journey.

Perfect Peace: A reminder & a promise

If there is one thing that I am sure has been passed down from generation to generation in my family, it is the gift of worrying. Fine, let me not exaggerate, I’m absolutely sure that the gift of worrying exists in the last two generations on my mother’s side of the family.

Therefore, I am a degree-certified worrier.

Let me tell you how this works. I will worry about something that happened yesterday, this morning, an hour ago, two seconds ago- and anything that might happen tomorrow.

The thing about worriers is we often have active imaginations, so once we begin, there is an endless trail of things that might, could, maybe, possibly, sometime, somehow happen.

The month of June was my season.

Everything that could go wrong from January begun, waited until June. I’m juggling classes, work, planning a wedding, a new addition to my household (that can be a really stressful time, if you are an introvert like I am), plus, plus, plus.

I really felt like I was a push away from the Jenga bricks collapsing.

But this is why it is important to record God’s promises to you.

You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

God’s reminder was simple.

Deonne, you can have perfect peace. Trust, focus on me- I will keep you in perfect peace.

But being the Deonne that I am, I start to worry that I am not staying or trusting enough.

But scratch that, here’s where the story gets better.

Look at the words a little closer

To Keep – ‘naw-tsar’:  means to guard, protect, maintain or preserve

Peace- ‘shâlôm’ means safe, well, happy.

Stayed- sâmak means prop, lean, take hold of, bear up

trust- bâṭach means confidence, hope, refuge

What God was really saying was he wouldn’t keep the storms away or even prevent the storms from hitting me. But he promised to maintain my happiness, my sanity, to keep me well and safe even while the storm is in full hurricane mode and trees are being uprooted and smashing me several times in the face.

Lets summarize.

Jesus will ensure that my sanity is preserved, that I am well and safe, if I allow my self to lean on him, be propped up by him and look to him as my hope.

What a wonderful God!

I’m looking forward to that perfect peace!

 

The promise isn’t always about you

A few days ago, I felt the need to leave my house a little earlier than normal. I had convinced myself that there was something urgent on my desk that needed to get done without delay.

I am always convinced that there is something ‘pressing’ on my desk to complete but usually, this conviction has the opposite effect. I’m pressured and I  ignore it. I bury my head in covers and say that if I get to work just in time, that would be enough time to get things done.

However, the need was just there, pressuring and it wouldn’t go away.

So I get up, do my morning rituals and everywhere I turn, there is just extra time to spare. Usually, this is a bonus for me because extra time in the morning means that I can read a few lines, catch up on some housework, or the other work that just doesn’t seem to get done in the nights and on weekends. (rolls eyes for emphasis)

And so I try to fill the extra space and something reminds me that you need to leave the house by a particular time.

‘But I don’t usually leave the house at that time’

‘Try being early this morning’

‘Why though?’

‘Just be early- leave at ‘this’ time.

So I quickly try to get some stuff done and by ‘this’ time- slightly later, I am out of the house. I am even cringing up my eyes at the bright sunlight because I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this bright in the mornings- just joking.

As I climb down the steps and into the car- my neighbour who is also on her way out calls out to me.

‘How far you driving today?

So I tell her my end destination and it isn’t exactly where she wants to go so she says ok, and starts to walk off.

As I sit and wonder, the prompt comes- ask her how far she wants to go.

And I do.  It’s not out of my route, but it isn’t really my route. It is a much more torturous route (traffic-wise) to get to work, but I ask her to come in because I could work it out anyway.

Look at my early going down the drain now…

On the way down, I ask her how things were and she begins to explain what was going on and why she was on this route at this time in the morning, I end up going ‘Whoa!’

This early thing was NEVER, EVER about me.

Sometimes, you are just the reminder/fulfilment of the promise that someone else needs.

Whether its the resources that God has blessed you with, or it may even be your lowest moments. Sometimes these are not really about you, you are simply the medium.

It made me reflect on a few rough moments that I’ve had- that the purpose has yet to be revealed. At the time, I thought that God just had to be punishing me- but now I wonder if God had been giving a promise, not only to me but to someone else in need.

The fact that you are holding on is just the encouragement that someone else needs to remember that God is working things out and taking them through the situation.

Your ‘early’ could be someone’s on-time

Your trials could be someone’s reminder

Sometimes, the promise- just isn’t about you!